Breaking the Mom Bias: Why Mothers Returning to Work Are Undervalued Leaders

Rocky Start

It was an intense 20 hours of labor and the baby was not there yet. Everything came to me in the last moments to manage my feelings, pains, and body on welcoming my baby to the world. Childbirth as a fundamental part of life has been around forever and that makes it seem straightforward. However those who have been there know, it is the farthest it can get to being straightforward. The sheer number of challenges and decisions that arise during pregnancy and the birth process are unbelievable.

A couple of months back, I was laser focused on my career, pressing on the Gas pedal very hard. I was navigating tough situations and making decisions with a major impact on my career, my projects, and my customers. I could not imagine motherhood to force me into even greater challenges.

In my case, as in many others (according to WHO 15% of women face complications that require major medical intervention), we faced complications in the delivery. It was one that had a life-threatening risk on the baby and myself. I had to live with the consequences and an unfit body for quite a long time. Our little one decided to make a grand entrance two weeks early, totally disrupting our plans! You'd think childbirth would be the toughest part, but nope - breastfeeding by itself can be a whole new adventure. It took a few months to get my health back on track.

Trial by Fire

To navigate both childbirth and raising a newborn, I had to build new competencies. Those challenging times truly transformed me. No job could ever have prepared me for the strength and resilience I gained from motherhood.

Resilience

My journey as a new mother tested my limits. Breastfeeding, sleepless nights, and healing from a difficult birth while caring for my newborn – it all pushed me to the edge. But it was through those struggles I discovered the true power of resilience. Great leaders aren't born; they're forged in the fire of challenge. They don't cower from adversity; they embrace it, and emerge stronger.

Just like the early days of motherhood, leadership demands the ability to bounce back, the grit to keep going when things get tough. Those qualities are the difference between leading and simply managing.

Decision making

My child's first year demanded tough, irreversible decisions: natural vs. c-section, vaccinations, breastfeeding vs. formula, traveling with a baby... and returning to work was particularly heart-wrenching.

Today's mothers spend countless hours online, seeking information and support to make these choices. This mirrors what leaders do daily: filter a flood of data, make the call with limited time, and rally others behind the decision. That takes confidence!

Facing tough economic decisions as a leader – letting people go, product shutdowns – requires the same skillset. You must gather insights, weigh options, then make the decision and own it with unwavering conviction. Motherhood homes those skills like nothing else.

Perspective taking

During the thick of the hard, I found how important it is to leverage empathy skills. Empathize with my partner, baby, and even myself! Understanding their perspective and emotional needs helped me stay calm, make better decisions, and provide the support each of us needed in the moment.

The ability to take the perspective of others distinguishes you as a strong leader. You will be able to influence more people and get the best out of them for the following because you will be better at building trust, tailoring communication, resolving conflicts and fostering collaboration.

Focus

Becoming a new mother means an endless to-do list competing for your attention. To truly focus on my baby, I had to learn to delegate, cut back, and accept imperfection. Inevitably, there are also those unpredictable crises where your child is unwell, and there's no easy answer.

Sound familiar, leaders? Ruthless focus on what matters most is essential. Work that doesn't drive impact must be ruthlessly deprioritized. Empower your team through delegation, allowing for growth. Above all, carve out time for the truly strategic work. Building systems that align with your organization's needs is key to this success.

The Reality Today

According to a research carried out by Career After Babies, 98% of mothers want to get back to work after having a baby, while only 13% say it is viable for them. The survey results show that 71 percent of women in senior positions took less than six months off in order to try and keep their jobs, 15 percent of women returned to different jobs in the same company but 57 percent ended up leaving their organization within two years. The reasons include: not enough time to recover from birth, not being able to financially afford it, no viable option of childcare

And afterall, when mothers do get back to work, regardless of when they get back to work, they have to fight the stereotypes. They are counted as less reliable resources. They are not offered leadership positions, or even lose their previously held leadership

Key Takeaways

If you are a leader or you are a mentor to a new parent in your team, be aware of the valuable new skills they bring in with them. Instead of repeating the old stereotypes, leverage the new skills that mothers have developed. Here are a few tips on how you can do that:

Do not Assume, Ask

Offer them equal opportunities. Do not filter opportunities that you think might be too demanding. Do not assume things like they won’t be able to travel for business. Have an open conversation about stretch goals.

Create an inclusive work environment. Have an open conversation about timings for high-visibility meetings with your team, making sure everyone is able to attend, including new parents.

Listen Deeply

Being rushed back in fear of losing positions and leadership opportunities, results in burnouts and might lead to an eventual longer break. Listen to what the new mother needs and empower them to own their re-entrance.

Empower them to decide their pace when they are back — whether it is a gradual ramp or a big bang, the returning mother should be the one who decides.